Type A Mama……I see you! Running around frantically, juggling 12 balls at the same time. Unable to delegate in fear of the job not being completed correctly. Exhausted and always busy, but somehow never accomplishing much. I know you intimately! Type A is ME! I saw the following chart and had to GASP because this rang so true for me. 
Its something about my personality I have always known, being nurse I prided myself on being superwoman, always running to and fro in Triage. I choose a profession in an area that was high paced and only successfully mastered by a few. I used to feel like Towanda!
Then I had children, 4 of them in 7 years. And they rocked my world. The control I felt when accomplishing multiple tasks at work, started to unravel as a mom.
The more I tried to control (unknowingly) personalities (husband, or children) the more desperate I got. The more I tried to people please by becoming the “perfect mom”, “perfect volunteer” “perfect wife” the more unfulfilled I became.
As some point I became disillusioned when the fantasy of how a “good mom’ or “good wife” was so out of reach from my reality. I looked up and realized(that with my only I can do it right attitude) I had become a disorganized MESS, house full of fingerprints, toys scattered, laundry piling up, no meal plans, and forgetting assignment deadlines for my kids school. And this is despite my concerted weekly effort that today will be different. Ending up like hamster on a wheel, while everyone else was wondering why I was so flustered.
So I say to you STOP, just Stop it. Don’t start today with another attempt at someone else’s plan for “keeping in it all together” Take a deep breath, give your self some grace in knowing you ARE A GOOD MOM/WIFE even if its all falling a part. Know that despite your efforts to control your sons bad attitude, that you ultimately have NO control over it. That its okay if your baby has an epic tantrum at the store and people pass judgement. Take a deep breath, when you daughter says the wrong thing to the wrong person. YOUR STILL DOING A GOOD JOB.
Start by letting control go…DELEGATE. Have your babies learn personal responsibility by doing chores. Teach them how to do them, BUT relax your expectation of the outcome.
WHATEVER YOU DO TYPE A MAMA, DONT take it over and do it for them. In the long run you will have a household full of people who are dependent on you because YOU the only one who can do it right. ASK ME HOW I KNOW!
The hardest part for a TYPE A, is patience. And no matter how hard I prayed, and said I would have the patience of Job today… I failed. Initially when learning how to be patient (still a work in progress BTW) I literally had to sit on my hands, do breathing exercises, and use an essential oil (lifesavers!)! It was minute by minute(sometimes still is) But prayer and practice is helping me grow in this area.
Remember our true goal as a mom is raising independent people, who are responsible for themselves and their own behaviors. Not by coercion, manipulation, or force but by reason and its our GENTLE guidance that helps them get there. These are all lessons I am still actively learning but making it my goal everyday to get better. I am starting to read books on psychological development of children to help understand why they are motivated to do things, so that I can better adapt my approach instead of doing what I was taught as a child. I am learning that intimidation and fear doesn’t really change behaviors, speaking to their heart does. A great book on this is Parenting is Heart Work.
My current read is No Drama Discipline ,so I can gain more understanding of child development and psychology to guide my discipline.
What are you ways of coping with a TYPE A personality? What are your current favorite parenting books?
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